To my ex

by Girlinshadows (Theheroiccouplet)

If you’ve ever been in love, you know you can’t just ‘unlove’ someone. You never really stop loving them, you just learn to live without them, eventually. So let’s raise our glasses to all the shattered hearts out there.

Dear ex, first of all, I want to thank you for giving me inspiration and motivation to write. I turned my pain into art, and there’s nothing more magical than that. The thing is, you’ve confused me. You keep on falling in and out of love with me like that, and I know you’re emotionally and mentally unstable, but I’m afraid I cannot understand you. And, God, did I try to figure you out. God, did I try to understand. But your brain is a mad chaos, which I unfortunately fell utterly in love with. You loved me, claimed you needed me, then you left me. I know you have the tendency to push people away to avoid getting hurt, but I thought what we had was different. I thought I was more to you than that. I’d made a commitment, and I wasn’t planning on leaving or hurting you.

Every night I had trouble sleeping. I kept saying “a little while longer”, hoping you’d text me, or call me. To check up on me, at least, to see how I’m doing. But you never did. I’ve waited for so long…And when I finally started accepting the fact that you were never coming back to me, that’s when you came. You’ve destroyed every inch of me, and when my heart finally reached the point where almost every piece had fallen back to place, you came back and threw a million boulders at it, to make sure it never heals. You owe me my sleep back; you owe me my happiness back…

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